Smoking and Chantix

If you have ever smoked or if you currently do, you know what I mean by saying....."I like it" and "I hate it". It is a monkey on your back....always thining ahead to when the next "smoke break" is. Feeling trapped in a 4 hour meeting, knowing that you won't have enough time to use the bathroom and go down 6 stories to get outside and sneak a smoke. I hate how it smells, I was embarrassed by the stupidity of it. The cons far outweighed the pros on this, yet the pro (ONE pro) was that.....I like it. Well, my daughter is now married and it won't be long before I become a grandmother. I would NEVER smoke in front of my grandchildren, but the thought of me with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth with my arms stretched out, saying, "come to grandma sweetie" is enough to say......Ok....It is time to stop this shit. Plus if I don't quit before November 1st my health insurance will go up by 10-15% on January first. If you figure $8 a pack and nearly a pack a day.....the cost savings is also something to consider.

So, October 9th was my last day of smoking. I started chantix the week before that. Before I proceed with this post I will tell you that it is easy to quit, I have done it at least 20 times (3 times with Chantix) (it is the staying quit part that is difficult). So having been on chantix before, I know the side effects. They are terrible. I am naseaus all of the time, I have wild dreams, and I am just not myself. I HATE this drug. I have 5 days left on it. I have never finished out the course of this drug because of all of the side effects, this time I said I would finish it out and maybe that would keep me on the straight and narrow. I will finishe it, but even today, I want a cigarette. I wonder if you take it that many times to quit if it becomes less effective? The good news is, when I am finished with the chantix this weekend I have to travel for work to Minnesota for a week, so I will be out of my routine for another week past the chantix, which might help. It is hell quitting, so why does anyone start again? Especially when you KNOW that you will have to quit again and go through this........I swear, if I start more goal then is to never start again.....I DO like having the monkey off my back, I DO like knowing that I am not spending $8 per day and I DO like never having to smell smoke in my hair.......I know it will be a healthier me.........Breathe........


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