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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Be Ok

The title of the blog says it all. Be ok with who you are, even if you want to change. Last night and this morning I seem to have taken a serious hit to who I am, even worse, from my husband. It really feels like I can't do anything right. It began on Wednesday when I crashed my car (my fault) it came up with over 10K in damages. Add $500 deductible and the sitation and we are out $620 bucks, bam, right at a time that we really can't afford it. I have known this man for 5 years, been married for 18 months and he loves me like no other has ever loved me and shows it in millions of ways. I think this is where the major sting comes in. I don't expect him to be so critical and it just hits me to my very soul. Yes, I need to change some things, and those things are practically life long habits that take much effort. That is not an excuse, simply a realization. I simply have to remind myself that no matter what anybody says, I have to be ok with who I am right now, even if I want to change. I can make changes, I can break habits, I can be what I want to be, but first, I am who I am right now, and I really need to be OK with that before I can begin to make the changes that I need to make.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Random Thoughts

Seriously, Christmas is only a week away? I am not even close to being ready for that.

Off on the road for another week of consulting. I am going to 2 different sides of the state this week. That is not how I normaly do it, but it is the end of the quarter and my quarterly reports need to be completed.

I emailed the chair of my dissertation committee to find out how much trouble I am in! He is such a kind man and incredibly supportive. I meet with him on January 9th. This gives me reason and great purpose to finish my evidence table and make progress on the first 3 chapters of my dissertation. I don't want to walk into that meeting empty handed!

I also found a home exercise program that I am doing on the road and at home, I really need to build up more muscle to assist me in getting healthy again.

I did set goals for the next 6 months, they are sealed in an envelope watiting to be opened on July 7,  2012. I am hoping that I accomplish them all! More about them later.

Hubby and I looked at a house yesterday. It is waterfront property. It does need some TLC, but the price is unbelievable. We may have to go for it. The thought that I could set up my glass studio again, is fantastic! Plus, just to have some space to spread out a little, to not worry about if I am making too much noise for the neighbors, etc. Plus, just to have our OWN home........we were waiting until I finished my PhD, but I love my job, and I think I will stay in it for some time, and I like the company and any move up, means I can live anywhere I want. Purchasing a lake home is a plus because even if I decided to do a post doc, it would be super easy to rent the house out for 2 years if we wanted to.

Ok......I need to get moving. Today was the update on my life.........not so much inspiration for you.......however I do want to leave you with this thought............YOUR life is your message to the world, make sure it is INSPIRING!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Sundays are for.....

Packing for the week. It is amazing how fast weekends go by. We had the most incredible evening last night. Scott Squared tied the knot so to speak. It was totally a lovely affair and truly special. The food was out of this world! I forgot to take my camera which really was upsetting because I really wanted to get my own photos.

Hubby and I have decided that today we would set 5 goals for us each to reach by July 2012. We both need to focus and accomplish some important tasks so this will be a good motivator. We are going to write them down and put them in a safe place to be opened on our anniversary in July and see where we are with each goal. Certainly I will also write them some place where I can see them every day and make a plan for how I will achieve each goal. I also believe in short term goals to help reach long term goals. We need to feel some accomplishment along the way. So most of my goals will include short term goals for me to celebrate. I will share them here as well. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful day, I am off to pack my suitcase for the week and plan my goals for the next 6 months!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Follow up and.....Something a little special

So, yesterday my boss LEFT before my presentation. Which btw I hit out of the park on. I think that just shows his faith in me :)

Somthing special is happening tomorrow. My dear friends Scott G and Scott F are having a wonderful celebration of their relationship. They have been together for 10 years and although it isn't legal in Michigan, they are making an official statement by "getting married". I have known them for their entire relationship, and they have honored me by asking me to "offciate" their ceremony. I am incredibly honored to do this and I am finishing up the work on the "ceremony". This is by far the most important presentation I could ever give. I am truly excited for them and knowing them......they have spared no expense on this wonderful celebration, so it is bound to be an incredible affair! Blessings to my friends Scott and Scott, may you have the most happily ever after imaginable!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Public Speaking

After 4 years of course work in a PhD program at the great University of Michigan, and lots of life experience I have done my share of public speaking. If I know my topic well, I don't have a problem. If I don't know it so well.....I am not so good at it. Today my boss is having me present before a group (with him present) to determine if I am an effective public speaker. I know the topic well, and it really only is maybe 30 minutes of presentation time. Today though, my nerves are all up in a bunch. Not sure why, except for the obvious. I just want to relax, be calm and show that I actually do know how to present in front of a group. I think this is the self sabatoge that I spoke of earlier.

Why do we self sabatoge? Are we afraid of success, are we afraid of doing well at something, could it be that our self esteem is low so we sabatoge to prove that we are not worthy? Good questions. I think that we need to remember that we all have worth, each life is worthy and as the title of my blog says, be ok with who you are, even if you want to change something. I know that I can be better at public speaking, but I need to be ok with where I am at with it right now and give it everything that I have and know that I can learn and improve at it without feeling worthless for not being the most dynamic public speaker in the world.

Go forth, love yourself for where you are at right now, today. Know that all that you are and who you are is the best you have been to date and tomorrow, you will be better than today. And.....don't forget to BREATHE!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

We are OFF!

I love Dr. Seuss! He was quite the philosopher. The mountain is waiting, so let's get on our way. We all are off to great places. Each one of us can make something incredible out of our lives, we simply must get on our way. If we sit on the sofa doing nothing, we really won't ever get there. And when you are feeling as if you are not making progress as quickly as you might like, remember: you are lapping all of those who are sitting on the sofa doing nothing! Keep foot in front of the other! You can do it! We can do it!

Monday, December 5, 2011

First Things First

Particularly with yourself. Appreciate what you have to offer and what you DO have. If we are simply dissapointed all the time, we are not enjoying life! We only get one life, ENJOY it, Appreciate it!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Time to Get This Ship Rolling!

Ok, so I am 50 years old. Yes. I said it out loud in a public blog. I feel like I am 26 years old. (except that my eyes KNOW that I am 50 years old...ha!) I have finished my course work for my PhD in Nursing at the University of Michigan. I still have to defend my preliminary exams and write my dissertation. I haven't been doing so great at finishing that. I work full time as a Regional Hospice Consultant and travel the entire state of Michigan every week. I am a glass artist and have no time to actually melt glass. I am married to the love of my life, a man who adores me (still not sure how I got that lucky). I have 3 incredible adult children who make me proud every single day. I actually love my life, however I seem to be sabatoging it to some degree. Thus, I am saying STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. I have much to be grateful for AND I can actually be who I want to be. But first things first. I must enjoy and love the person I am now, even though I have things that I would like to change. You can watch my transformation and hopefully I will inspire others to be all that they can be and still love themselves through the process. So, Let's get going!