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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Welcome Everything.....Push away nothing.........

Welcome everything and push away nothing is a mantra that a spiritual teacher of mine said to me. It sounds fairly straight forward and quite easy....until you think about what that actually means. Welcome everything. Every bad feeling, every unsure thought, every piece of sadness and grief........everything....welcome it ALL. Don't push away anything.......don't say....."no I am not going to feel this right now.......rather.Welcome.everything.push.away.nothing.

Who has time for that? We all should. We all need to allow the feelings and emotions that waft through us to be acknowledged. It doesn't mean that we "wallow" in them. Meditation requires us to focus on the present moment. Often I find the "monkey mind" where my thoughts are jumping around from thought to thought. As we learn to control our thoughts we realize that it isn't that we don't THINK these thoughts, but rather, allow them to come and then to go. Similar to a screen door to the mind. The thoughts come, we acknowledge them and then allow them to go on through the screen.

So, my father died 3 weeks ago. I am doing very well with my grief. I am allowing it to be present when it needs to be. I am feeling the significance of the loss. What is complicating this for me is the nature of some of the remaining relationships.

For the majority of my life there is someone that has hurt me. I now need to make a decision if I will continue to have a relationship with this person. There is a part of me that believes this is a no brainer....certainly it is time to end the cyclical process of hurt and forgiveness...........and another part of me that is simply confused by other thoughts.

I need a safe place to vocalize everything to help myself come to some conclusion that is the right thing to do. These thoughts and feelings about this situation are heavy and they don't just breeze through the screen door....they settle in my mind and don't allow me to sort them out..........they just sit on top of my chest, so I feel a bit like I am suffocating...........this of course makes me want to push them away.........yet I need to Welcome everything and push away nothing...........


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